Slow Death

“We must go beyond textbooks, go out into the bypaths and untrodden depths of the wilderness and travel and explore and tell the world the glories of our journey.” John Hope Franklin

Humans walk on this earth without knowing their fates. They go working without realizing what waits them for tomorrow. So are we a live or died? Human can move with died body but died human cannot move with a live body. We think that words can describe everything we feel or anything we see. However, sometimes, words are really unable to express about what we want. We are going to death with no feeling yet we are running slowly.

On Thursday morning, the sun is shine and the sky clear. Canards were twittering over my home and the spring flowing. Tow seconds later, I opened my room’s window to receive a new day. I dressed up and went out of my home. At seven am, I was waiting for a bus at the bus station. Ten minutes later, I got a bus which is number eight. The driver asked me, “where are you going?” I told him I’m going to Abu dis. “Yes, this bus is going to Abu dis.” The driver replied.

I and my friends planned to gather in Abu dis near to al-Quds University at eight am. Because we will go visiting Battir village near to Bethlehem city, which is in area C. It means that Battir village is under Israeli occupation. I was fearful at the beginning, for it is the first time I have gone to Israeli areas in my homeland. But, then my fear ran away. At eight am, we got a car to Bethlehem city. While the driver was driving, I saw a lot of beautiful homes and hills. After that, the car stopped since there is a checkpoint, which is the “Container” checkpoint.

The soldier who was at that checkpoint allowed us to pass without inspecting. At that time, I was wondering why the soldier did that even though I know his job is to bother me and make my life boring? Yet that was good. As we have to meet the other group of my friends in Beit Jala at nine am. Before I got Bethlehem, I passed through two attractive villages, which are Ubaydi and Sawahra. I noticed a lot of people who raising sheep and walking between hills. I saw very small monasteries. The nuns and monks are isolated from other people. They just pray. At that second, I remembered that I’m living isolated like these nuns and monks: I’m isolated from my homeland, freedom and my family.

At nine am, I and all friends gathered to start our walk to Battir. The first point was Almkror valley. It is a beautiful valley. It is full of green trees and colored flowers. But the most common kind of trees is olive trees. A glowing flower fascinated me while I was walking between hills. It is sunflower. It was so sexy. It looks like the sun in the sky, thus I considered this flower as my sun. I kissed it three times as I do not see the real sun. The sky is fogged and cloudy everyday. It is death that calls me every second or waits for me.

Then, I kept walking until another point. I noticed a bypass road that is established by wild people. It is used for transportation from Jerusalem to Bethlehem city. It is just used by undomesticated people. That bypass road segregates many pieces of my homeland. Consequently, it kills me slowly and harshly. This road does not know pity; it just knows how to hurt and kill.

While I was walking to Battir, I was going through the beauty of my homeland. The beauty that Israel destroyed and prevented me from. I was walking among charming flowers and trees. However, what got my attention is the people who live there. They are simple and generous people. They depend on farming and eating from what they plant. As soon as I was walking between hills, two men were sitting on rocks and eating together. At that point, I realized how they belong to their lands that I do not have. I understood that people who live in villages have very coherent social ties too.

Those people are happy for they do not know that they are dying but slowly. Many barbaric individuals are coming to crash their lands and to demolish their plants. After a while, I grabbed that human is not the only one who dies; the reality is different. I found a diversity of animals are living there. I liked how bees move from rose to another. They move with no restrictions or blocks. Conversely, when I move from place to another, I have to pass through a variety of blocks. Hence, I do not have freedom that the bees have in my homeland.

Very pretty rabbits and goats were travelling between green grasses and shrubs. When I looked at them, I felt sad. For the reason that, these innocents creatures will lose their food and freedom once the untamed people arrive their homes. I felt broken heart, for these animals do not know that they would lose their families or live homelessly.

Later, I kept walking with my friends. In that case, I wanted to say something to my friends who do not live there between depths. Therefore, I said,

“As you prepare your breakfast think of others.[1]
Do not forget to feed the pigeons.
As you conduct your wars think of others.
Do not forget those who want peace.
As you pay your water bill think of others.
Think of those who only have clouds to drink from.
As you go home, your own home, think of others
Do not forget those who live in tents.
As you sleep and count the planets think of others
There are people who have no place to sleep.
As you liberate yourself with metaphors think of others
Those who have lost their right to speak
And as you think of distant others Think of yourself and say
I wish I were a candle in the darkness.”

After these precious words, I wish I had a land to plant to feel what is an affiliation to homeland. I wish I had a land to feel what is an attachment to everything we own from our ancestors. I wish I live in Battir village.

Battir is full of natural springs. Everyone has one day to water his land by these springs and the other day will be to the next. This is reminded me of a village in my city follows the same system. It shows me that there is no spite between people who live in villages. Instead, they are living in equality and an affection. Both of these things are not in my life or city in general. As people who live in cities are less coherent than people who live in villages.

Next in the time, as we were walking between rocks and cliffs, we found a rail-road. This rail-road is used for two things. It is used for transportation and for tourists trips. It allows travelers to move from Jerusalem to Bethlehem and vice versa. Its history goes back to Ottoman empire era, which means it is very old. In contrast, now, it is under Israeli control. This rail-road causes a slow death for all people who live in Battir village; It remembers them when they were using it. Furthermore, they were gaining a lot of benefits because of tourists who were visiting their village. On the contrary, Israeli people who just use it these days but Battir’s people are prohibited.

After some time, I was so tried of walking; I took a short rest. Five minutes later, we kept walking. I, myself still unable to describe the beauty of nature that I was passing through in Battir. Therefore, if the tongue disables to talk, the hand does not disable to write on papers. After we were stepping, we noticed a store for sculpturing on stones. We walked in that store. It is full of very nice sculptures. I was witched be the shapes of sculptures that I saw.

There were three shapes of sculptures that got my attention. The shapes symbolize Jerusalem city, Christian churches and candles. Yet the most fantastic thing was the man who sculpts these shapes draw his name in the middle of all sculptures. That man calls Sultan. He is really a great man for he stands for his belonging to his homeland by sculpturing these shapes. I sat in a corner inside that store and started pondering. I was thinking about this man and his sculptures: why does he sculpt these shapes? Why did not he leave his village to live better life out of Palestine as majority do? At that juncture, I merely realized what sticking for a land and my property mean. I got the sense that I have to defense of my homeland until last breath I have.

Though Sultan sculpts everyday, his sculptures do not know that they either will be broken by hands know killing and profaning the beauty of everything, or taken with its maker to live somewhere else. To be honest, I think Sultan sculpts these sculptures as reminders to keep in minds for what is what we are losing slowly in this holy land.

It is actually very pride to do something for your homeland, in particular if you are not able to fight with soldiers in wars against colonizers and enemies. After we left Sultan’s store, we went toward very high cliffs to plant a number of olive trees. Before we got the spot that we have plant on, we faced various of dangerous hinderers. We were falling on rocks and shrubs. It was so to tough. Nevertheless, I endured all these obstacles to do something for my homeland.

I took one olive tree to plant with my friend who is Sondos. I and Sondos started digging by axe and spade. Once we finished digging, we planted our tree and made a cycle around it by stones. Next, I and my friend brought a plastic board and instilled it by our tree. My friend wrote her name and mine on it to show visitors who planted this tree. It was so touching in my heart.

Bar, when we were going back, I turned my head and looked at the tree that I and my friend planted. I know that it will be died by savage vehicles and individuals. So I hope God keeps it from them. I want my friend’s name and mine to stay on that tree to approve to all people who go there that Palestinians do not know surrender; they know keep working until our land return to us. It is true that we cannot fight by guns; I and Sondos will keep writing and talking about our homeland and its people to all nations who do not know it. This is the greatest people who are striving with occupants and people who just know blood shedding everywhere.

From images, puns and metaphors into reality, sometimes, we need to reveal and show the facts that they are living behind these literary elements. The fact that is sticking beyond these images, puns and metaphors is the extension of “Gilo” settlement. Gilo settlement is inside Jerusalem. Battir was connected with Jerusalem city before isolating it by the separation wall. Israel wants to extend this settlement, which includes a big number of homes for settlers by owing and construction on Battir’s land. But the extension will take time until getting Battir. As a result, this extension is a slow death, which waits for Battir village and the people who live in it.

Reader, do not misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting despair or surrender. I’m showing Battir village to blind people and to those who do not know the worth of belonging to their homeland. I want to say very important words to those who colonizes my homeland. I want to say,

“O those who pass between fleeting words [2]
Pile your illusions in a deserted pit, and be gone
Return the hand of time to the law of the golden calf
Or to the time of revolvers music!
For we have that which does not please you here, so be gone
And we have what you lack: a bleeding homeland of a bleeding people
A homeland fit for oblivion or memory
O those who pass between fleeting words
It is time for you to be gone
Live wherever you like, but do not live among us
It is time for you to be gone
Die wherever you like, but do not die among us
For we have work to do in our land
We have the past here, we have the first cry of life
We have the present, the present and the future
We have this world here, and the hereafter
So leave our country, our land, our sea, our wheat, our salt, our wounds
Everything, and leave the memories of memory
O those who pass between fleeting words!”

Everyday passes and papers edit. Four seasons pass every year and my homeland is still prisoner like the bird in cage. In winter, I cry with the rainfalls. In autumn, I have general weakness in my body as the branches dry and leaves fall. In summer, I stay at home to avoid hotness. However, in spring, my energy renews as blooming flowers and I write about my homeland beautifully.

My walk was to Battir village, save for I do not merely write for Battir. I write to every piece of my homeland. As mothers generate new infants every minute, the sky will not stay cloudy. The sun will shine again and this land will return to its people. As birds fly in the air, the restrictions will break and prisoners will run away. Palestine. My homeland, will free and narrate your victories to whole world one day.

[1] Think of Others, Mahmoud Darwish, 2005.
[2] Those who pass between the fleeting words, Mahmoud Darwish , 2009.